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Author Archives: Smooth Peet

New shirt idea:

Three Meme Shirt Moon

Three Meme Shirt Moon


A friend of mine recently wrote me an email including the sentence:

"Texas tacos are better than cali’s without a doubt"

(Take note of the capitalization of Texas and subsequent non-capitalization of Cali typical of the geographic-inferiority-complex-afflicted Texan).

Like all other Californians, I’m a pretty laid back kind of guy — but this sort of blatant libel against the great state I call home (and the great tacos contained within) simply will not stand. So I present to you a simple, objective, mathematical analysis of the plausibility of the above statement:

California tacos

California tacos

2008 population of the state of California[1] 36,756,666
2008 population of the state of Texas[2] 24,236,974
2006 % of California’s & Texas’ population of Mexican descent[3][4] 25%
Total legal Mexicans in California 36,756,666 * 0.25 = 9,189,167
Total legal Mexicans in Texas 24,236,974 * 0.25 = 6,059,244
Estimated illegal immigrant population of California (2006)[5] 2,830,000
Estimated illegal immigrant population of Texas (2006)[6] 1,640,000
Estimated % of illegal immigrants (in all states) from Mexico (2006)[7] 57%
Total illegal Mexicans in California 2,830,000 * 0.57 = 1,613,100
Total illegal Mexicans in Texas 1,640,000 * 0.57 = 934,800
Total Mexicans in California 9,189,167 + 1,613,100 = 10,802,267
Total Mexicans in Texas 6,059,244 + 934,800 = 6,994,044
Total Mexicans in California and Texas 10,802,267 + 6,994,044 = 17,796,311
Percentage of total Mexicans in California and Texas living in California 10,802,267 /
17,796,311 * 100 = 60.7%
Percentage of total Mexicans in California and Texas living in Texas 6,994,044 /
17,796,311 * 100 = 39.3%
Delta in percentage of total Mexicans living in California versus percentage of total Mexicans living in
60.7% – 39.3% = 21.4%

The fact is: California has a 21.4% chance of having better tacos than Texas by virtue of a 21.4% greater population of people who make tacos.

In every day terms, that means that for every 5 tacos you eat in California that are fantastic, slightly less than 4 would have been fantastic were you in Texas. As someone who eats 3-6 tacos per day on average I can safely say that the above constitutes mathematical proof that California is, in fact, the best place in the world.

they’re still “processing” my tshirt order
i imagine “processing” like when something bad happens to someone and they seem really jaded and you ask them what’s up and they say “oh i’m just trying to process everything that just happened”
so there’s some lady sitting there “trying to process” that i want this shirt
and eventually she’s going to come to grips with it
and send me the shirt
probably with piano music playing
as she walks away from the post office
having symbolically “let it go”
give her time ben
give her time
she’ll come around
but i can’t wait forever you know?
eventually i’m going to have to find a new shirt
you gotta live your life man….
w/o all these strings attached
you should email the company and say “just breathe”
or “look, i realize you have a lot to work through right now, and i’d love to be supportive but i’m just not in a place where i can be that for you right now, so while it pains me to be demanding i’d very much like it if you could just take the time to send me my shirt and work out your issues later. i wish you the best, i really do, but as i said, i just need that shirt.”
ctrl c
ctrl v

Headline Shirts: Can I have my shirt now?

Born from that super smooth place right on the border of Malibu and Ventura county: Equal parts Malibu rum and Bacardi silver over ice, garnish with umbrella and a penchant for drinks that taste like sunscreen.

The County Line - Smoothest drink slightly northwest of Los Angeles

The County Line - Smoothest drink slightly northwest of Los Angeles

Thanks to Couchaline and Beejay for making such a wonderful thing possible.

Tylt33: so

Tylt33: i was furthering your research

Tylt33: and I have determined that although the chodes in northern california are less apparent

Tylt33: they are still here and probably in equivalent percentages

Tylt33: they just dont grow as big up north

bboy28980: hahaha

Tylt33: instead of Tapout stickers

Tylt33: they have cowboy hats

Tylt33: and rice mobiles

bboy28980: i think it’s correlated to the percentage of C and larger fake breasts in the immediate vicinity

bboy28980: also northern california lacks constant sunshine, which probably hides the chode’s “chodiness”
somewhat as he’s unable to maintain a tan year-round

Tylt33: maybe the size of the chode depends on the average breast size of the local female?

bboy28980: i think it’s twofold

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In case you missed it: Danger 2012 is sporting a new look. Peek around, it’s subtle.

In case you forgot or, like me, you were nowhere near being born yet — Supertramp is awesome.