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Hot off the success of “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies,” Editor Jason Rekulak has amalgamated a new smash mash-up: “Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters.”  Here is the awesome trailer:

Money quote from Rekulak interview: “Well, our monster-to-Austen ratio is higher than in the last book, about 60-40 (that’s 60 Austen, 40 me). That’s proportionally more monsters, swordfights, and submarines.”

This naturally led us to ask, what other literary masterpieces will undergo a re-working?  Rekulak was kind enough to send along a few pages from his new (old) projects.

(after the jump)


1) A Tale of Two (Sin) Cities

IT WAS the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was raining.  The droplets stung my face like a thousand tiny knives.  I pulled my hat lower and lit a cigarette.  It was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness.  My own foolishness had gotten a lot of people killed.  Including Her.  It was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, a darkness that mirrored the void where my soul had been, before this city ground it down, the way it grinds down all good things, eventually.  Harsh smoke invaded my lungs.  It was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way- some of us sooner, rather than later.  That is, if I had anything to say about it.  Through the rain I saw King approaching; large jaw, plain face.  I slipped my hand in to my jacket pocket.  The steel of the .45 was cold and I shivered.  But I remembered my promise.  To see that things in general were settled. Forever.


2) Crime and Punishment and Sarcasm

How it happened he did not know.  But all at once something seemed to seize him and fling him, in a theatrical and over-exaggerated way, at her feet.  He “wept” and threw his arms round her knees.  For the first instant she was terribly “frightened” and she turned pale.  She jumped up and looked at him trembling.  But at the same moment she understood, and a light of infinite happiness came into her eyes, as she rolled them.  She knew and had no doubt that he “loved” her beyond everything and that at last the moment had come. . . . (Took you long enough, she thought snarkily).

They wanted to speak, but could not; tears stood ironically in their eyes.  They were both pale and thin and listened to MGMT; but those sick pale faces were bright with the dawn of a new future, of a full resurrection into a new life.  They were renewed by love; the heart of each held infinite sources of life for the heart of the other.  Raskolnikov pretended to stick his finger down his throat and said “gag me with a spoon,” but he said it in Russian.


3) Finnegan’s Wake and Nonsense

riverrun,past Eve and Adam’s, from swerve of shore to bend if bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.  Sir Tristram, violer d’amores, fr’ over the short sea,had passencore rearrived from North Armorica on this side the scraggy isthmus of Europe Minor to wielderfight his penisolate war: nor had topsawyer’s rocks by the stream Oconee exaggerated themselse to Laurens Country’s gorgios while they went doublin their mumper all the time: nor avoice from afire bellowsed mishe mishe to tauftauf thuartpeatrick: not yet, though venissoon after, had a kidscad buttended a bland old isaac: not yet, though all’s fair in vanessy, were sosie sesthers wroth with twone nathandjoe.


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