Time Wasting, Vol. 313

ONE: Contextual Advertising.  How could it go wrong? I guess, hypothetically, adding a police recruitment tag to a video of a cop kicking a teenage girl.

TWO: Ok, as someone who recently purchased a pair of tight, bright-red levis and clear lens way-farers, I can confidently confirm that this article correctly predicts future hipster trends.  Or not, whatever, I could care, right? (h/t the super sweet Stuff Hipsters Hate.  I love Tumblrs [Tumbls?])

THREE: Finally. Yacht Rock. Yes.

Kenny Loggins, you get in the fucking back of the group. This is my picture.

Hi 1997? This is 2009, Can You Come Fix Our Problems?

Yes We Can.

Cocktails are delicious, cocktail culture is kind of pretentious cool

This is reassuring to people like me, who, at 27, are still trying to break in to international espionage:  11 (famous, duh) people in the wrong career at age 30 (h/t The Daily What)

Live in California? Are not a felon? CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A PROPOSITION TO LEGALIZE MARIJUANA? Hooray Direct Democracy! Cons: Bankrupt State with approximately 87% unemployment, No Hot Lesbian Weddings.  Pros: Possibly legal marijuana

p.s. sorry for the long delay, but we’re working on a secret new feature that, if we pull it off will be awesome, but if not, its secret and you’ll never F’ing know.

Mailing it in

Hey guys, sorry we didn’t really post any new content this week, we were too busy 1) writing short stories we don’t intend for anyone to read, 2) pouring our hearts out to our friend about our girl troubles, 3) playing guitar, 4) being glad we aren’t in Boston, 5) institutional investing. Respectively.

But hey, I’ve got nothing to do Sunday. If the weather is bad, and I feel creative, maybe I’ll write something for you. Until then, get out there and make it a great weekend.

 

 

Additional Time Waster Here.

In Which I Intimate That My Holiday Weekend, Which Started Last Thursday, Ended This Wednesday Morning.

Hey gang!  How was your 4th of July weekend?  Mine was pretty boss!  Just How Awesome was my weekend, you ask?  Here’s the soundtrack:

Adventures in Mixed Temperature Metaphors, California Budget Crisis Edition

From today’s LA Times:

“Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and state lawmakers stood frozen in conflict Wednesday with the state at the brink of a meltdown.”

California > Texas

A friend of mine recently wrote me an email including the sentence:

"Texas tacos are better than cali’s without a doubt"

(Take note of the capitalization of Texas and subsequent non-capitalization of Cali typical of the geographic-inferiority-complex-afflicted Texan).

Like all other Californians, I’m a pretty laid back kind of guy — but this sort of blatant libel against the great state I call home (and the great tacos contained within) simply will not stand. So I present to you a simple, objective, mathematical analysis of the plausibility of the above statement:

California tacos

2008 population of the state of California[1]	36,756,666
2008 population of the state of Texas[2]	24,236,974
2006 % of California’s & Texas’ population of Mexican descent[3][4]	25%
Total legal Mexicans in California	36,756,666 * 0.25 = 9,189,167
Total legal Mexicans in Texas	24,236,974 * 0.25 = 6,059,244
Estimated illegal immigrant population of California (2006)[5]	2,830,000
Estimated illegal immigrant population of Texas (2006)[6]	1,640,000
Estimated % of illegal immigrants (in all states) from Mexico (2006)[7]	57%
Total illegal Mexicans in California	2,830,000 * 0.57 = 1,613,100
Total illegal Mexicans in Texas	1,640,000 * 0.57 = 934,800
Total Mexicans in California	9,189,167 + 1,613,100 = 10,802,267
Total Mexicans in Texas	6,059,244 + 934,800 = 6,994,044
Total Mexicans in California and Texas	10,802,267 + 6,994,044 = 17,796,311
Percentage of total Mexicans in California and Texas living in California	10,802,267 / 17,796,311 * 100 = 60.7%
Percentage of total Mexicans in California and Texas living in Texas	6,994,044 / 17,796,311 * 100 = 39.3%
Delta in percentage of total Mexicans living in California versus percentage of total Mexicans living in Texas	60.7% – 39.3% = 21.4%

The fact is: California has a 21.4% chance of having better tacos than Texas by virtue of a 21.4% greater population of people who make tacos.

In every day terms, that means that for every 5 tacos you eat in California that are fantastic, slightly less than 4 would have been fantastic were you in Texas. As someone who eats 3-6 tacos per day on average I can safely say that the above constitutes mathematical proof that California is, in fact, the best place in the world.